She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
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