I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
