How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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