No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
