i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
