Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize