Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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