I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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