apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
