so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I can't turn off my feet"
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Randomize
