i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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