i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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