last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
