Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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