so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
