I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
