Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
