Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Randomize
