is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
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