i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
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