Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
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