I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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