What did we do last night that was yellow?
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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