Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize