im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
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