Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Randomize
