i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
