just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
