can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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