I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
