Already got asked if we're dating
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
