Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Randomize
