I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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