Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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