I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
whose parrot is this?
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
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