it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
