you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
