I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
