we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
