where am i from again
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Sober January is a disaster.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize