atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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