spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
