Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
