That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Can Purell be used as lube?
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
