Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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