I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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