You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
