Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
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