She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
