so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Watching her eat just hurts me
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
