Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Randomize
