I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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