yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
