There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Randomize
