Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
