Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
