oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
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