It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I smell stomach acid.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
