oh god the rape fog is back!
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
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